. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!”

. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me, and I’ll laugh at you!”

. “I tried to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

. “My bed and I have the perfect

relationship. We’re always

together, but we sleep separately!”

. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop giving me ‘cookies.””

. “I’m not clumsy; the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way!”

. “They say laughter is the best medicine if you see me laughing getting my daily